A Letter to Cancer

A fellow Finn-ster wrote this letter the other day.  It’s probably something we have all thought.

Dear Cancer,

Suffice to say cancer, I do not like you.  Quite frankly, I hate you.  I used to be scared of you, and I suppose that a part of me still is, but as a person, I’ve grown to outright hate you.

It didn’t have to be this way; we could have probably grown to tolerate each other, as I have with several other obstacles in life.  Taxes, heartbreaks, work and I have all learned to co-exist with an unspoken understanding.

But, you, Cancer… You had to be difficult.  You had to start affecting the lives of friends, loved ones, and the loved ones of loved ones.  You started taking the lives of people I have known, who had amazing lives.  You started taking older people away.  And while it was tragic and unquestionably unnecessary, it was tolerable.  I started to learn that certain things would help the likelihood of you rearing your ugly head.  Smoking, sun tanning, and exposure to radiation… these things made sense to me.  Actions have consequences.

And then you decided that that wasn’t enough for you, and that you wanted to take away people who avoided those things.  That’s not okay.  You can’t just go around taking people willy-nilly.  Frankly, even the people who were doing dangerous or unhealthy things had no business going with you.  They still had sunrises to watch, and afternoons to enjoy with their families.

Periodically, you’d take people, and challenge them, and then you’d disappear for a while.  As if a cancer scare was something that these people had asked for, or were seeking.

Then you decided to go after the children.

Not cool, Cancer.

You decided that you wanted to take Finn, Mattias, and Ryder.  That’s not okay.  Those were a group of young boys who loved to run, jump, bounce, sing, dance, smile, love, and ride.  They were boys who would have LOVED to hop on a bike, and make a weekend out of riding down to Seattle.

So, I’ll tell you what.  WE’LL do it for them.  Over 3,000 of us.  And while we’re doing it, we’re going to raise money to fight you.  Last year, we raised over $7 million dollars.  Did that get your attention?  Did that make you nervous?  It must have, because you kept taking more lives.  In my circle, you took 3 lives, and threatened many more.

Well… not this time.  This time, we’re raising the stakes.  This time, we’re not taking a small blob of pink riders… we’re bringing an army.

Don’t worry.  You won’t miss us.

You’ll see us.  You’ll hear us.  You’ll feel us coming.  Smiling, laughing, running, jumping, singing, dancing, bouncing, riding, and loving.  Loving the experience, loving the challenge, and loving it as we wipe that smug look off of your face.

And while we might not beat you this year… we will win!  Your days are numbered, because as sure as I am, that you’re not going anywhere, neither are we.

How do you prevent this?  Simple.  Give up.  Go away.  Never come back.

I’ve grown tired of you, Cancer.  You’re not welcome at this party.  You never were.  You never will be.  So, go ahead.  I dare you.  Find a new way to grow.  Find a new gene to mutate.  It won’t stop us.  It’ll only slow us down.  But, I assure you… we’re coming.  And we’re bringing a fury that you’ve never seen or experienced.  And one day… we will win.  Even if you take one of us… you’ll just make the rest of us stronger.

I promise.

I don’t mention Finn much because I didn’t know him, but I have been able to spend a bit of time with Patrick (his father).  What you don’t know is that right after Finn died in October 2008 Patrick was told about the 2009 RTCC.  Right away he became involved with fundraising and telling Finn’s story and this year he has been attending every fundraiser (there are over 100 team members!) and meeting the newbies on the team.  He has done all this while still dealing with the loss of his son, working at a law practice and having a young family.  Every day he is reminded of what he, Sam, Sarah and Baird (together with other family and friends) dealt with.  I wish you could meet him because he is really a neat person.

A couple of you emailed me this week and yes, you can still make last minute donations HERE.

I can’t say it enough – thank you, thank you, thank you for all your support!

Team Finn Picture and CTV story

Just wanted to share this picture (taken at Sunday dinner) with ya’ll – it was too large to compress so it’s under separate cover.  This does not include all members but a very large portion.

Starting tonight, CTV is doing Ride stories during the 6:00 news hour. Patrick Sullivan was interviewed a couple of weeks ago and apparently that story will air on Thursday evening during the news hour.

My Bags are Packed I'm Ready to Go (not really)...

THE RIDE 

Sunday's ride was fabulous!  Maybe because it was my last training ride and all the work to get to this coming weekend was coming to an end, or that now my bike is perfect and that makes it an easier ride, or after next weekend I will actually be able to have a day that doesn't have a swim, bike ride or run in it.  I think though it's just the anticipation of seeing my Squeeze when I'm not grabbing one set of gear and heading off to the next workout.  The support he has given me leaves me speechless (still able to type though!).  We’re going to spend a couple of days in Seattle after this weekend just being tourists.

It had rained on and off a bit throughout the ride and at one point I thought it had started to spit again but no, I was swallowing those stupid no-see-um bugs.

There were signs out for local strawberries. 

Strawberry season has great memories for me.  Before Caro moved to Calgary she and I went every season to pick berries but really, they should have been weighing us and not the bowls because we ate far more than we ever paid for.  But, I digress.  By the time I got to Steveston the sun was shining and Bob, Judy, Michelle, Samuel and THE PICKLE were there to meet me for my break.

DRINK 

I have never actually held any weight with opinions about the qualities attributed to wine.  Whether it tastes like blackcurrent or peach or whatever really depends on what you taste and since no two people taste anything the same – well, you get where this is going.  Guy and I bought 12 bottles of the Team Finn wine and it’s absolutey delish!

My dinner parties are all wrong!  On Sunday Team Finn had dinner together - what a hoot.  Patrick was telling me the story of Sunday dinner for their family and right now that includes 16 adults and 18 children.  Friends and family gather together for a potluck almost every Sunday.  What a great memory for their kids.  Did I mention 18 kids!  I have absolutely no idea how many were there on Sunday but it was (to quote someone) "dinner on steroids".  An entire future Team Finn was there!

I’m not permitted to talk about the details of my job but there are weekends I come home and just cry.  The stuff I have to see and read every day is humanity at its absolute worst.  Dinner on Sunday was humanity at its best.  Then it got better.  (Are we there yet?) Sarah told us that she and a friend had recently gone door to door in their neighborhood selling chocolate bars to raise money for a Team Finn member (not any specific member) that may need just a little bit more to be able to reach their minimum and do the Ride.  I hope this little girl is in my life for a very, very long time and you all get to meet her.  She and I lay on the floor for a bit and just chatted about what she was going to be doing in school this coming week and about this coming weekend.  I am confident there will be no one at camp or the finn-ish line cheering as loud as Sarah.

So, by now we've all received the name plates for our bikes , our tent mate (if you're young and tenting after riding 130k is your thing), our riding jerseys and lots of emails reminding us we need to have our passports. 

I’ve listed below the details for camp and the finn-ish.  Guy will have his cell phone with him (604) 788-8158 if anyone needs to call him.

Leaving from:

Guildford Town Centre Mall.  Opening ceremonies begin at 7:00 a.m. and I expect we will be leaving quite shortly after that.

Camp (June 19):

Edgewater Park

600 Behrens Millet Road

Mount Vernon

Finn-ish (June 20)

Marymoor Park /McNair field

6046 West Lake Sammamish Pkwy NE

Redmond, WA

Some of you have asked about last-minute donations - HERE is the link.

Power of Pink:  I think this says it all:  

Throughout this training I've been sending you these emails just to let you know how essential your support to me has been - trust me, it's not because I think I've got anything important to say.  I can't believe that I haven't received one email saying please take me off your list so thank you for that and thank you for not letting me know you delete them without reading them!  I will have more to write after the ride and I am sure some really great pics.

Please include Team Finn in your prayers - and all the riders this weekend - that everyone finish safely and without injury.

PLAY

 I will be doing a short(er) training ride on Sunday and would love some company for all or part of the ride.  If you prefer to just sit, enjoy what is supposed to be fabulous weather and watch me glide in, I will probably be at the Starbucks in Steveston at about 11:00 a.m.(ish) and will enjoy a bit of a rest there (maybe the Pickle will be there and you’ll get to meet her Fabulousness).

I am going to start at Iona Beach at about 8:00 a.m.  The other points where you may want to join me are:  #7 and River Road – there is a little park there (about 9:00 a.m.) and #6 and Westminster (about 10:30 a.m.).  I will stop at those two points for a stretch and a song!  And then on to Steveston.  Each of these points is about an 18K ride.

Guy will have his cell phone on (604) 788-8158 and you can phone him at any time to find out generally where I am at on the ride if there is some other point you would want to hook up with me.  Another good spot would be #5 Road at the dyke (just south of Steveston Hwy.).  I never wear a watch so these are only guesstimates.

DRINK

Seymour's Pub Liquor Store (702 Old Lillooet, North Vancouver) has been featuring a special Team Finn Wine.  I have not yet tasted it but it comes highly recommended – “The wine is good.  Really good.”  It has a pink (alway fabulous) label.  I have attached a photo of the wine and some tasting notes.  The wine is not available in government liquor stores.

The pub has been featuring the Team Finn Wine for a couple of months now with $2.00 from every bottle going to Team Finn.  That feature is going to end on Sunday night.  So now is the time to stock up for the bbq season. 

EAT and SING

Guy’s family is having a Canada Day party and attached is the invitation.  The band will be playing.  They have a pool and a hottub and lovely back yard to sit in.  You can either respond to me and I’ll let Karla know or you can respond to the email addresses on the invitation.

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body,
But rather to skid in sideways,
chocolate in one hand,
wine in the other,
body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!"

Comfortably Numb (song by Van Morrison)

Pink – it’s June; it’s Ride month – I can justify as much pink in my life as I want! My desk has a very tacky pink candy dish full of pink M & Ms and today I am in pink:


Comfortably numb is a physical state I would like to be at now as the RTCC draws near: well, reality sucks! The best news is that last Thursday I was able to get a professional fitting with my bike and YAY! I had no neck and shoulder pain throughout the entire ride on Sunday! Tom (La Bicicletta) did put a a different seat on Pinky and that is my new nemesis. It’s narrower and harder and I have only two weeks to get used to it! If I have to be a wussy girl and buy a gel cover then that is what I’ll do. I did make every effort to go for a long ride on Monday but ... ya, that didn’t happen - I was hurting in a whole new place and felt every nuance of the road!

Sunday was a fun, fun ride as a result of the changes in my bike. At one rest break I was so happy that as I was stretching I closed my eyes, enjoyed the sun and sang a song. I was alone and wasn’t offending any ears – or so I thought! When I had finished the stretch and song and opened my eyes there, all listening to me, was a group of cyclists (even older than I)! I sooooo don’t sound like Belinda Carlisle when other people are listening.

In an earlier post I had talked about how speed kills. Because my ride was so much more comfortable (and quick) that at one point when I looked down at my speedometer and realized I was doing 31K/hour I nearly scared myself to death! I actually yelped – okay, so I am a wussy girl!
I think it would be easy to do the ride on this, but not nearly as fun (Harley Davidson got the colour right though).


Comfortably numb is not an emotional state I would chose. At a Team Finn fundraiser a couple of months ago Pat spoke for a few moments and he had with him a chain (for lack of a better term) of beads. This was a really, really long chain. If I remember the story correctly each bead represented a treatment that Finn had dealt with and while I don’t remember exactly how many beads there were, I do remember the number greatly exceeded 100. That has been, through all this pain, what keeps me emotionally and mentally focussed – Finn had no choice; I have a choice.

June 6 was the 25th Annual BC Children’s Hospital Child Run and my hero, (Are we there yet?) Sarah Sullivan, is the sole captain for Team Finn. Below I have attached some pics (in the group pic Sarah is the one about in the middle near the front with both arms raised):

This Sunday there will be a dinner with HOPEFULLY the entire team and their families in attendance. We will get our team jerseys and I am sure for a lot of us that will make the whole experience more tangible. The team is so much larger this year than last so I think most of us will be meeting for the first time.

Spencer came by the courthouse today and dropped off a CD of songs for Pinky pod – how generous is that! Thank you so much Spencer.

Power of Pink: Tom (La Bicicletta) knew that it was very important to keep the integrity of Pinky so he found a seat for me with pink stitching! Seriously, as I said in an earlier note, pink is not just a colour anymore.

To donate to the Ride to Conquer Cancer, visit the website HERE.

Are we there yet?

Before I start, I believe I heard that today is Finn’s and Baird’s birthday so to two of the boys who inspire the teams/people that ride this event.

This email comes to you on June 1 – the RTCC is almost here and YIKES! almost gone! I don’t want it to end! It has been so much fun and I’ve met such nice people. We’ve now had to register our passports and “check in” online. Soon the whole Team Finn www.teamfinn.com will be together at the same time. All that pink at the start and finish is going to be – I’LL CRY! For sure I’ll cry.

On Sunday a bunch of us were out in Maple Ridge for a combined ride with Team Hickman. Brent and Lisa Hickman thought of absolutely everything to make this training ride fun and enjoyable – right down to the scenic route and the big bottle of Tylenol Extra Strength waiting for us! Thank you so very much Brent and Lisa!

Pat, Sarah and Baird (some of Finn’s family members) were able to make it out for a bit of the ride and I rode with Sarah for a portion. When she had about 3km remaining her focus was on: are we there yet! This from the girl who had just one week earlier finished her first Kids of Steel Triathlon – YAY SARAH - what a huge accomplishment. Baird came up to me after we had finished that leg of the ride and quietly told me he had eaten all of his gummi bears – I think it was a bonding moment and I fell in love!

Are we there yet? That question comes in different forms, e.g. is it over? For those with cancer it’s not over. For those riding, we’re not there yet. For Finn’s family it will never be over. It’s not over/we’re not there yet – because I am sure we will be riding again next year. I was just this morning advised that a co-worker’s husband passed away this weekend from a very rare form of cancer (there was an article in the Vancouver Sun last year about Max’s cancer). My heart goes out to Steph and their two young toddlers – it will never be over for them. Thank you again, and again, for your support.

Doreen sent me a picture of her bike security system that I know ya’ll would just love to see (I have a weakness for black dawgs). Beside it is a picture of Doreen’s war wound (now healed) from a team ride in April:
(both fierce warriors for sure!)


Speed kills - On a recent ride out to Fort Langley the Squeeze told me there was only one little dip after Walnut Grove and otherwise pretty flat. That was NOT a little dip! Seriously NOT! My theory is speed kills so you can bet (and you’d win) you will see me going down hills at about 1km/hour. Okay, I exaggerate – that may be a bit on the fast side. Let’s just say I don’t create even a small breeze when I go down a hill – I melt brake pads! So if any of you plan on being at any of the finish points – take your time because I just don’t move at the speed of light!

If any of you are interested:

SOUL SONGS TO CONQUER CANCER will be an EPIC night filled with music by amazing local artists! So get ready to support the fight against cancer AND have an amazing night out!

Time: June 2, 2010. 8PM
Place: The Bourbon (50 Cordova Street West)

Pricing: Tickets are $10 and available at the door!
100% of the proceeds going to support the BC Cancer Foundation.

The AMAZING LINE UP:

Special performance by the trio: Amanda Williamson, Cassandra Nantel and Chelsea Powrie.

Dan Hudson of Waiting for Sunday -check them out HERE.


Featuring: Nadia Von Hahn -Check her out HERE.


DRINK SPECIALS ALL NIGHT LONG!

Power of Pink: for me, this weekend, it was just seeing Sarah in her fluffy pink socks!

Seriously Sunny; the enemy; crying and what was I thinking!

ah! Gotcha – not talking about the weather!

SUNNY #1 - the TCM doctor I see on a monthly basis and have been for over a year. Sunny Lee is a seriously fabulous TCM doctor (I understate his talent – he is, I understand, the most sought after TCM in North America), with a wicked sense of good humour.

I didn’t post his picture on my support group “update” earlier this week because he has just returned from China and last night was the first chance I’ve had to see him. He stuck needles all over my back and YAY! my neck and shoulders are almost 100% better than they were earlier in the day. One more treatment from him, a few more from Mark, and I should be as good as any 52-year-old Auntie Biker-Chick could be!

THE ENEMY - In Sunny’s waiting room was a guy wearing a 2010 RTCC t-shirt so I went over to introduce myself and talk to him (I’ll call him Joe out of respect for his privacy). Joe told me he was there because he has cancer and seeing Sunny is part of his cancer treatment. His MRI results had been given to him that day and he is not yet cancer-free but he will be doing the Ride this year.

It doesn’t seem to matter how many times you hear someone say it – “I’ve got cancer “– my gut churns every time. All of you know that I cry even during a Telus commercial when they have those cute animals, and after talking to Joe I went and sat where he couldn’t see me and cried. I’ve done this in blue because this is the colour of Joe’s eyes.

CRYING - I don’t remember crying when I found out my Daddykins had cancer and was going in for surgery – I must have, but I was just too worried about him. It’s been a few years - and many tears he has never seen - since the surgery. He still has to schedule his life around appointments with his doctor – that makes me cry. That is not a fun way to spend your retirement.

That’s my Daddykins on the left with his two best mates (mates since they were toddlers in lederhosen)

SUNNY #2 – this is not about cancer or the ride or sadness. Sunny is the boy we are dawg-sitting right now and he is a seriously fabulous dawg and worthy of having his picture posted. So gentle and sweet. He is recovering from blowing out his knee (just after he recovered from blowing out the other one – he’s a super athlete spending most of his time on trails with mountain bikers). Our neighbour (Sunny’s person), Trevor (fixer of bikes), is in Mexico right now and it’s gonna break my heart to give him back – I’ll cry.

WHAT WAS I THINKING! I just registered for a two day a week triathlon training program (2 hours each session) for four weeks. It’s official – I will now be working out more hours in a week than I actually sleep in a week! My girlfriend just sent me this: Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character. So yes, I will be doing the 125K training ride this Sunday out in miserable Maple Ridge (miles up the armpit of hell!).

Power of Pink: It’s overpowering! I’ll have to remember to have my pink pack-back filled with tissues on the ride because I’ll be crying a lot!

I took the pic of the hydrangea when I was on Saltspring last summer and the tulip is taken by my pal Adrien. The roses I treated myself to after having done 101.5K (because we can’t forget the 1.5!)



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